Drake and a Convo with the Kids

The way our community status has changed over the past seventy years can be astonishing.  There was a time when we knew our neighbors well and would borrow things from them and attend their backyard parties with potato salad and green bean casserole.  I lived in a “little boxes” neighborhood and honestly, when my husband and I were home shopping that is what we were looking for; a place to raise our kids with sidewalks for bicycle rides, other children playing, bliss.  We would ride around neighborhoods and judge them by whether or not the people walking waved or not. It was silly, we were in our early twenties. We based our decisions on what others of our generation had done. The remarkable thing is, our relationships with our neighbors is not as tight-knit as we expected, they are nice but no backyard party invites.  Many of our kids friends live in other neighborhoods so we had to drive them to other parts of the city. People do wave and smile when they are on the sidewalk,just as we do. So we are a part of a community as a space but not necessarily a network.

Now to Drake.  I have three sons, 15, 20 and 26.  We were traveling together over the weekend when they hijacked my Spotify in the truck and I was privy to the discussion of Drake’s new album “Scorpion”.  Two of my son’s live on their own (thank you, Lord) so when they get together it is like a “bros reunion” and I ALWAYS get stuck in the middle, usually confused.  After reading last week, and getting in my feelings, there were a few songs that struck me and this social media conversation. The song “Emotionless” refers to some girls posting old pictures of themselves to make it look as if they have a certain lifestyle.  There is also an interlude where some girls are talking about getting that pic with Drake to get their “likes” up. He addresses a very important issue related to social media and young adults and teens through his music and of course, like a good mom I had the discussion with my boys.

My parenting style has evolved a whole lot since the first was born and let him tell it, they wore me down.  This basically means that my youngest has been privy to a lot of things the others have not. So, when I asked them about social media the response from the older two was different than the younger.  

To quote Brent on his feelings about social media he stated “Social media is your highlight reel.  Your day to day can’t compete with someone else’s highlight reel.” Profound. He said his friends call him and they actually have conversations.  He doesn’t post regularly because it causes him to disconnect from his “everyday real”. He also, told me that his social media personality changed as he got older.  He cleaned up his Facebook and Twitter accounts to make them more professional in order to attract a different type of person. Keeping his accounts private has allowed him to do a better job of controlling who is in his circle.

Troy, my middle son, is a musician, student and free-thinker.  I was amazed to find out that he is known by some of my college students because of his music.  That was of course a product of social media. It has worked to help propel his music career locally and he uses it to promote many of the things that he is working on.  Our conversation was a little more interesting. When asked if he would interact with his classmates and professors on social media he said he would prefer not to. “So much of social media for me is about promoting my music, ideas and interests, if I have to start posting work my followers are going to drop me.  I can’t afford to have my followers leave because of something I said in English class. FIrst of all, they won’t understand and secondly, those are two worlds I just don’t want to mix.” When I posed the questions of having two accounts, he responded that he has multiple accounts and found that it just became too much to keep up with.

Last, David,the star child (according to his brothers) said he doesn’t have a problem interacting with his teachers and classmates through social media. He doesn’t really want to but “whatever”.  This is the kid though who also reminds me of the Drake references. He posts pictures and if it doesn't get at least 300 likes he is comparing it to others that are “less flattering”. He Snapchats when he wakes in the morning and let’s not forget those pictures of half of his face on our morning commute.  Since I also know that he is not nearly as shallow as he may seem, I look at his network as very open. Aside from the fact that he is young and the world is his oyster, this is his means of communication. It fits his lifestyle and if his teachers want to come into it so be it. However, not Math, he does not want to have a social media conversation about Math.

The evolution of the community has changed.  Our social communities have changed how we interact and live life.  When I think of the girls in the Drake reference, I look at this as something that we have lived through before,  we know the girl or girls who want to be popular. Social media has just given them a bigger stage. When referring to the person who wants to advance professionally, we can think of back in the day making sure you beef up that resume to make sure that it is sound. Troy putting his music out there can be compared to free concerts and mixtapes.  

Social media has allowed us to expand that connection how we see fit.  Your network can consist of multiple communities that support your needs and interests.